Truesday.

You Know What?

I don't think it's too much to ask that if I want to listen to music on my iTunes that I shouldn't have to be bombarded with every two bit piece of crap metalcore band's crappy music every time I do research for bios on said bands. Perhaps, just maybe, I can go to a band's website and CHOOSE whether or not I want to listen to their music. Jesus H. Christ.

I hate the fact that if I have to go to myspace to get a bio on a band I have to wait for the player to load so I can shut the damn thing off. I get really annoyed that when I go to official band or label sites, they have some hidden player SOMEWHERE on their stupidly difficult -- and ironic! -- website that blasts the latest sounds from a bunch of dumb kids who still hate mom and dad.

If there is some way that I can run iTunes and shut the damn sound off of Safari (at all times) please let me know. I'm about to strangle the next angry tattooed twentysomething whining about his mom or some girl or god or what-not.

I know you think you're band is going to change the world, and will save your doomed soul from eternal sad-sacked-ness, but... I am trying to listen to some good music. So... Shut UP!

Crashing All Around Me

There is a part of me that just wants to run. Go for my daily run, listen to some good music, enjoy a good cup of coffee, a nice meal, and read a good book. Take a day and ride my bike, drift off in my daydreams under the open window. Grow vegetables, play with the cats, watch a football match. Take in a walk, and do nothing.

There is another part of me that is filled with regret and (near) frustrating rage at how I screwed it all up for myself. It's the same part that doesn't want my life to be meaningless and filled with idle pursuits. It's the part of me that wants to DO something. Anything. To have a career or a calling. To find myself making a difference, no matter the size of that difference. Big or small. One person or millions. That person in me wants to let this gig go, and step into something that I know I can do, and something that will provide for me and mine so I don't have to worry anymore. Worry about the future, worry about children in that future, worry about never seeing Europe again.

I want to fall apart right now. I want to break down. These are the times when I feel useless. I'm relatively lucky, but so... Unfettered that it's precarious at best. I have made so many improvements, yet I feel so lost. I have so much in most of my life, but have voids that are deep and vast in other parts.

I don't know what I want, and I don't know how I'd go about doing it anyhow.

I am actually scared to death over all of it.

Elimination

I don't blog much lately. Part of me feels that it's a rather -- overly -- self-involved affair, done so that I can wax rhapsodic or rant neurotic on any subject or whim and basically force people -- those who have the urge to check up on me, at any rate -- to focus on one or two aspects of my life. But, on the other hand, I have become one of those people who doesn't call or write or whatever as often as I used to, and this is simply one of the best ways to get caught up on all of my stupid adventures (if you want to call them that.)

And so, with the latter in mind, and that I have a lot of opinions I want to get out, and as this is as good a place as any to just practice writing, I have decided to keep it all afloat. Nevertheless, one big aspect -- ironically, the cornerstone of why I started this in the first place -- has to go. Running, for the most part, will now no longer feature very prominently here. (As I write that, I notice how full of myself it sounds... "Attention, those blessed citizens of the State! From here on out, you shall no longer be informed of the running ups and downs of Christopher True. You will have to fill the void through some other means. Have a nice day!" Sheesh.) Why? Well, I just like to keep that aspect... Well, written in a book. It's the way I used to chart my cycling, and I still like to go over those notebooks and look at the numbers every once in a while.

I will probably mention the activity now and again, in passing, perhaps to mention a race or some such thing. But %99 will be left to the notebook I will inevitably purchase for said purpose.

Now. Today. Let's clean house a bit, shall we?

First off, running. Ha! Yup, running. Yeah, I think I've made it official. I am a runner now. I have gone for seven mile runs and found it hard to stop. I have had a bloody nipple from running too long. And I have run my first races. Two 5K races (so far)... The first, the Bellaire Trolley Run, on April 5, 2008, was fun. I finished well, especially for a first timer: (Note: The number 13 represents my placing in my age group. My age may seem a bit young because they asked for my age as of April 30, 2007, the first time (22:31) is the chip time. The next time is the gun time (that is, from gun to finish instead of chip reader to chip reader), and the last time is pace per mile. And "173" is my overall placing.)

And my second, the Mothers for Cleaner Air Earth Day 5K, was today. I ran faster, clocking in at 22:14.1. Even had a little kick at the end. The best thing about this one was that Amanda ran it with me. She doesn't run my pace, but that allowed me to grab the camera out of the car and get a pic or two of her finishing. It's best when we do things together.

And that's it. No more running.

What's that? How's Sheffield Wednesday doing? Oh, well, great! They're battling relegation by either losing matches or drawing them. A week ago, Sheffield United were in the lower half of the table. But by simply winning games, they're now a slim possibility for a play off place. And I'll be supporting a club in League One. Joy. Even less information than I get now! Great! But, the odds are good that they'll get promoted out of that division next year, so, that's a plus.

I gotta say, I am really quite pleased with the football season thus far. I really hope to see a Liverpool/Barcelona Champions League Final, I hope to see Man United fall apart and somehow give Chelsea and Arsenal a possibility of winning the Premiership -- the end result of which could very well likely come down to the last day of the season, the FA cup final is not Liverpool, Arsenal, Manchester United, or Chelsea against Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester United, or Liverpool -- thank goodness -- and I hope to see Portsmouth and all their spending amount to squat on final day. All the way, Cardiff, all the way! What else? Oh! It was nice to see Tottenham take the League Cup. Don't know why, just kinda cool.

What surprises me most is my sudden interest in the NHL Playoffs. Watching Boston and Montreal in their series' game 2 was the hook. Then I was lucky enough to watch Dallas kick the Ducks around. Nice. Still like the Stars. And now I have better reason (I live in the state.) Oh, and yes, I still don't give a rat's ass about the Red Wings. Sorry, my fellow Detroiters. I just don't care anymore.

Interesting to see how the rules changes has affected the game since I was a big fan (round about 1999... Who won the Cup that year? Oh, yeah, I remember. Heh.) It's just so frantic now. Perhaps it's because I'm used to watching the pace and space of football, but when you've got ten ice skating hulks slapping a puck at each other -- and the two goalies -- the odds a pass will connect is a bit lower than on a few yards of lush green grass and cleats. Anyway, it's been interesting so far. I'm hoping for a Habs/Stars final. Mind you, I don't know (as of right now, I guess I could check) what the Montreal/Boston series is at... Ah! Game 7 is on right now. Well, there you go. Allez Les Habs!

Music! Yes, I like music too!
Well, most of this week I was in a big Prog state of mind -- usually happens at the end of a Metal phase -- and really wanted to listen to pre-Dark Side of the Moon Pink Floyd. Meddle, to be specific. Picked it up yesterday, probably for the fifth time -- I've sold so much good stuff over the years for really stupid reasons -- and goodness gracious it is such a damn fine record. Also picked up the new Sword album, but haven't gotten around to much of it yet. If it's half as good as Age of Winters, I'll be happy. Other things of note: Bloodbath - Resurrection Through Carnage is fantastic, the new Meshuggah (Obzen) is an improvement over Catch Thirty-Three, and I was really let down by The Haunted. Great music, iffy vocals and singer.

The old conflict that I have regarding staying 'current' with music also raised its ugly head this week. Prog, as we all know, probably hit its peak in the Seventies, and while some have managed to carry the torch for the last thirty, the best stuff is a long time gone. And that's fine. If I want to go pick up some 2nd phase King Crimson, or Camel, or whatever, fine, but I keep wanting to get turned on by the present! And there's just nothing there most days. I'm left unimpressed with the current state of Rock. It's all tarted up or too 'precious' for me. Panic! At the Disco and Feist, I'm talking to you. The Editors second album was a bit of a let down, as was Kasabian's second. Come ON. Sure, Opeth is a band that is big and relevant and making genuinely worthwhile albums, but I want more! I expect more out of 18-28 year old angst than what we're seeing up on music store shelves. There's nothing wrong with pushing the envelope, honing your chops, and choosing NOT to be a part of the business. I'd give anything for it (Rock) to be half as revolutionary as it used to want to be. Oh, and when it comes to (ahem) "modern" Prog, just because you got talent and can play it -- Mars Volta, I'm looking in your direction -- doesn't mean you have to do it all at once. Understand? Pace yourself.

I don't know, maybe I'm just old. Perhaps I should just shut up, listen to Wishbone Ash and wait for the new Opeth to come out.

I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead on this one.

What else, what else?

Yes, I've been reading comics again. I'm sure there are some deep seeded reasons for it, but I'd rather not worry about it too much. I enjoy it, and that's good enough for me. And I've come to the realization that I'm still a Marvel guy. Some things never change.

That's all I've got today. I'm DAMN hungry.